Do you constantly feel stifled, restricted or suffocated by your clingy girlfriend’s excessive neediness, jealousy or controlling behaviour? Being in a relationship should lead to one’s growth, with both partners making compromises and helping each other to widen their horizons. If you feel more like a hostage than a beloved, you may be in a co-dependent relationship.
A co-dependent relationship, which is usually unhealthy, is characterized by having a partner who:
1) Demands to be by your side more often than necessary
2) Expects a call from you several times in a day
3) Needs to know where you are at all times
4) Feels jealous when you are with other women
5) Discourages you from having female friends
6) Frowns on your spending time with male friends
7) Keeps you on your toes for fear of slipping up
8) Constantly analyzes everything about your relationship
9) Pressures you to commit to things you are not ready for, like marriage
10) Acts overly protective or inappropriately clingy in public
It takes two to be in a co-dependent relationship, thus, you also play a role in this unhealthy set up. It’s important for you to recognize that a relationship where one is unstable or controlling often results to physical and mental stress for the other, and tolerating such a relationship will eventually lead to a miserable existence for both of you.
Clingy, needy, or excessively jealous women tend to have major issues with self-esteem. And you may have such issues as well since people with similar levels of self-esteem tend to attract each other. Try to address these issues with your partner if possible so you can both work towards having a healthy relationship. Make her aware how her controlling and demanding ways make you feel stifled and suffocated. Let her know how important it is for you to have a sense of freedom and independence.
Many men, however, find it hard to bring up such issues with their dominating partners. They are afraid that discussing such issues will make her overreact or cause further conflict. You may need a third party to help you address these issues, wherein you can freely speak up without fearing the consequences.
On the other hand, you might feel the need to end the relationship, but couldn’t do so because of many reasons and that the time is not right. This usually puts men in a dilemma as they want to end the relationship for their own good but couldn’t find the will or the strength to leave. As a co-dependent himself, several reasons prevent him from taking that step:
• He doesn’t have the heart to hurt her and see her cry
• He fears that she wouldn’t be able to handle the break up, go out of control, and do something drastic that could ruin their lives
• She depends on him for what he can provide (house, ride, etc.), and they have shared properties or assets
• They are engaged and everyone is expecting a wedding
No matter what the reason, the bottom line is that you feel responsible for her and you think she could not live without you. The truth is, there is no better time to leave than now, and no one else can do it but you. Nothing is impossible when you put your heart and mind into it.